As a child of career Kingdom workers, I knew firsthand what the cost of discipleship meant. My parents counted the cost of following Christ on many occasions, and though we always had what we needed, we knew there was not always room for wants. I had grown up hearing of incredible stories of God’s provision for our family. From mysterious food deliveries to miraculous healing interventions. There was protection from bombings and riots in a particularly volatile time in our transplant country’s history. God always made a way.
Because of all of this first-hand experience, I have never doubted God’s ability to provide. His ways have always been limitless to me. I have, however, incorrectly interpreted the expectation of sacrifice from God’s committed followers. Somehow, over the years, I have incorrectly come to believe that if one was to wholeheartedly follow God, he would require everything from this follower (which is true) and that one was to expect a certain level of destitution (which is not necessarily true).
I recently read a biography about a Dutch missionary to the USSR, named Brother Andrew. It's called God’s Smuggler. This is such an incredible story of counterintuitive, counter-cultural, radical faith. A kind of faith that could be commonplace, but sadly, we modern Christians still put too much stock in our own ability.
In this biography, Brother Andrew talks about our role as royal ambassadors for God, our King. He explained that we, as God’s fieldworkers, are not merely employees and children of anyone, but of THE King. The One and only true sovereign of the universe. Just as ambassadors and dignitaries from sovereign states represent their sending country and leader, so do we.
Like those representing their countries here on earth, God compensates his ambassadors for their efforts and provides them with the resources needed to accomplish their assigned tasks. Not only will God not leave us high and dry, but he will give the best. Because we represent who he is to the world. Because he is good. He is rich in mercy, power, love, and resources. More so than any other being in the universe. So why do we not depend on him as if this is true?
Theologian Arthur Pink stated in his book, The Holy Spirit, that one person infused with and dependent on the Holy Spirit is more powerful than a whole building of people who were devoid of the Spirit, or those who are self-reliant. Let that sink in! How counter-cultural and counter-intuitive that idea is!
We lack nothing as workers for and children of God. We are ambassadors for the King of ALL. Furthermore, we are children of God! So why is it that people of such a privileged status seem to be lacking power and resources for their God-given work? Because we are trying to live for God in our own strength and ability. We think that because God called us, he must need our ability.
Oh, friend. God needs nothing from you or me. Rather, he is inviting you to watch and experience him more fully. But if you insist on carrying the load, even a part of it, on your own strength, you will never fully know God’s limitless power and resources, you will never experience his royal provision.
I am not speaking this to you as one who has mastered this discipline but am speaking this truth over my own heart. Every day I am tempted to choose for myself, muster my own strength, find my own answer to my question, decide my own way, and accomplish my own goals. But you know what? It’s never enough. And it never will be. I’m not God. And in stupid presumption and misplaced pride, I really believe that I can be god-like.
The early Christians did not have anything more than what we have now. The difference between their time and ours is belief and trust. Do you believe you are a royal ambassador for the King of the universe? Do you really trust him to operate as a glorious, limitless, powerful, loving, and a good king? Or do you think you need to intervene?
Today, we have a choice. We can choose to stop and wait for God’s leading, provision, and power, and experience God in new and incredible ways. Or we can choose to continue in our own way and remain impotent, stretched thin, and exhausted.
Written by Sara Danielle Hill
Sara is a nurse, writer and founder of Undercurrents Ministries. For more more information about Sara Hill and her writing, head over to saradaniellehill.com
