Over the past few months, I have been on a health journey. Little did I know when I started this journey for my physical health how inexorably tied it would be with my spiritual health. I have learned many things about myself. I have come to see patterns of behavior and have seen how food and exercise are a window to see into the heart.

Throughout this process, I have been confronted with the idea of behavior modification. I often try to will myself into a new behavior. That doesn’t always go the way I want. In contrast, the Lord has asked me to ask him for help and wait as I depend on him. So often I want a certain result and try to manipulate the food I eat and the times of exercise to get a result that I want.

The thing is, we can will ourselves to accomplish a lot. But in my situation, the progress has been slow. In the slowness, God has been challenging me about what my prize really is. Do I want to grow closer to God or look a certain way? Beauty and physical health are pretty poor prizes. They will fade, and there is no guarantee that they will last. Only God’s love is guaranteed.

However, if I make Christ my prize, then he should be my chief object, the thing I am chasing most hard after. That butts directly against the outcomes I am striving for through this health journey because I can’t will myself into God’s love. That is a work of the heart. Through my choices on this journey, I have seen how often I try to manipulate circumstances to achieve my own desires. There is no room for God in that practice. There is no place for love of God in those motives, only pride and self-love.

The thing is, I have tried behavior modification and fad diets before. They only work for a moment, then they eventually fall apart. The weight of constantly willing myself into certain behaviors is exhausting, and eventually, one small exception turns into daily indulgences. Then, all the work is undone.

In Matthew 16, Jesus pushes back against the religious elite when it comes to this very habit. At the beginning of the chapter, they approach Jesus, demanding a sign. Now, keep in mind that up until this point in the book, Jesus has had a very public, very vibrant ministry filled with healings, the dead being raised, and the demon-possessed finding freedom. And these religious leaders were present for at least most of these miraculous experiences.

When these men came to Jesus, they did not ask to see a sign because they hadn’t yet seen one. But they saw all of his signs, and they had already rejected his work and teaching. This day, they came to Jesus in an attempt to manipulate him into doing something they wanted. They wanted to control the narrative.

Later, Jesus warns his disciples to “beware of the leaven of the Pharisees.” If you’re not a baker or have not dabbled in baking, the saying may be confusing. Leaven, what we now call yeast, is a powerful little thing. It’s a colony of microorganisms that we mix into the elements that make bread to puff it up and change the composition of the dough. Only a few grams of yeast can totally transform the dough in the baking process. Jesus is telling the disciples to beware of a characteristic of the Pharisees that is that powerful and pervasive. But what specifically is Jesus warning them of?

We get more illumination a little ways down the passage in verses 13-28. At the beginning of this section, we see Peter confess Jesus as Lord. Jesus responds by telling him that there is no way he could have come to that conclusion on his own. This was revealed to him by the Holy Spirit. Then, as Jesus begins to tell them of his future death and resurrection, Peter pulls him aside and rebukes Jesus for saying such things out loud. Jesus responds by calling Peter Satan, telling him that he is setting his mind on the things of man, not the things of God.

Ouch. But let’s look at this interaction. It’s important. First, Peter boldly speaks up and reveals that he has seen something in Jesus that is not yet obvious to everyone. The Holy Spirit has given him the eyes to see that Jesus is the Messiah. Not just see it but believe it. This is not his own realization but a gifted understanding. It did not come from him.

When Peter rebukes Jesus, Jesus responds by telling him he is setting his eyes on the things of man. Why is that? Jesus’ death did not fit into the vision that Peter had for him. Peter expected Jesus to look and act a certain way. His death did not fit into that picture. Interesting. That sounds a lot like the Pharisees, right? Jesus did not fit into their pre-determined picture of what they thought the Messiah should look like, so they rejected Jesus. Like the Pharisees, Peter attempted to behavior modify Jesus, manipulate him, and force him to look a certain way. But Jesus does not engage at all.

The chapter ends with Jesus talking about love. It feels like it’s not remotely related, but sit tight, it is!

“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

If you pay attention to Jesus and how he interacts with people, he is never transactional. He is always relational. He holds hands, touches eyes and ears, and carries children. He addresses people one person at a time. He stops what he is doing to respond to the person in need. And if we zoom out a little further and look back at the Old Testament, we will readily see that God is never transactional but relational. He was friendswith Moses. David was “a man after God’s own heart.” He called the prophets by name and walked with them through famine, drought, captivity, and exile. He never abandoned these men.

God’s goal for us is not to “act right” but to know him. That is why Jesus tells the Pharisees, “Learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” And later, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe dill and cumin and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: Justice and mercy and faithfulness.” If Jesus was all about behavior modification, there would be no need for the cross. But we DO need the cross. We cannot behavior modify ourselves into righteousness. That is a matter of the heart, not the will. And only the creator of hearts has power over hearts.

Friends, the world operates in terms of behavior modification to manipulate certain outcomes into existence. They only have the will and its force because they are devoid of the Holy Spirit. We, in contrast, do not operate in such a way. There is no need. We have the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit at work in us. All that is required of us is love. Love God. And the thing about true love is that it’s self-sacrificing by nature. This means that because I love God, I will lay down my agendas, my attempts to right myself, my attempts to manipulate God into accepting me based on my “good behavior.” This means I will ask for help and let him help and change me as and when he sees fit.

Jesus tells us, “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The burden of behavior modification is so very heavy. Lay it down. Let Jesus work in you, let him change you. Ask him to do so because it is only dependence on God that brings flourishing.

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