Exhaustion, Weariness, and Misplaced Identity
This is the third of a series of articles in which I will attempt to bring a Christ-oriented perspective to the topic of burnout. This is a nuanced and multi-layered topic that cannot be fully addressed in one small article. Please bear with me as I attempt to speak words of truth and hope.
There have been several periods of time in my life when my soul was weary beyond description. This soul weariness came from different factors- burnout at work, grief from losing a loved one, a season of prolonged busyness, and stress. But they all brought me to the same place- weariness to the very core of my being. I’m sure you have been in that place too. In fact, I would be very surprised to meet anyone who works within the healthcare industry who hasn’t gotten to this point.
Burnout is the exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation, usually due to prolonged stress or frustration that is not successfully managed. When unchecked, this chronic stress and exhaustion can lead to increased feelings of depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job, and eventually, reduced professional efficacy.
As we have previously discussed in The Snare of Burnout, what we call burnout is a spectrum to describe the process of soul exhaustion playing out in someone’s professional life. We are not talking about a switch that flicks off or on. Nor are we talking about a static state of being. We are talking about a subtle and dynamic state of the inner person.
Believe it or not, the Bible actually has a ton to say about this kind of soul-weariness. The surprise is that it actually doesn’t begin with our circumstances, but with our hearts. I know what you’re thinking! Stay with me! Pull this thread of an idea with me so we can better understand our own hearts.
The entire book of Lamentations is a series of grief poems. It can be a depressing book to read when life is great, but it can also be a very life-giving book to read when life is hard. In chapter one, the author, the Prophet Jeremiah, grieves a national tragedy and talks about why they were enduring such a horrible, soul-shattering tragedy.
Throughout the course of the first chapter, he recounts a theme in Israel’s history- misplaced love, trust, and identity. Israel poured her time and energy into cultivating herself as a nation rather than cultivating her relationship and covenant with God. This is a very easy thing for us humans to choose. We think we can control our future if we pour our efforts into our interests and security. However, God had promised early in their history, when they had been freed from slavery in Egypt, that if they poured their efforts into following God, he would protect their interests and grant them security through his protection (Deuteronomy 8:6-20).
Very quickly, Israel decided that she wanted to be just like the other nations of the world. She didn’t want God to manage her or handle her problems. She wanted to be in control (1 Samuel 8:5-8). She could do it on her own, just like everyone else. So, she forged friendships, amassed wealth, made a name for herself, and forgot her true calling, her purpose, to be a blessing to the nations (Genesis 22:15-18). As she lived out these choices, she made compromises (1 Kings 11:1-8, 12:28-31, 15:34, 16:19, 25, 30-33 ), exploited people, and ignored those who could not benefit her. It wasn’t personal. It was business. She had goals. She had an image to uphold.
The more she sought to be like everyone else, to stand out among them, the more she wandered from God, completely ignoring him. No longer was she Israel, slave rescued by God. She was Israel, honored Princess with wealth and friends. And the best part of her strategy was that with this hard-earned status, she could be a blessing to the nations!
However, she couldn’t see that she wasn’t a blessing. She was a prostitute. True blessings from God last, stretching into eternity. The “blessings” Israel was dealing were fleeting times of union and mutual pleasure (Lamentations 1:1-2). How warped her perception of reality had become! Finally, God allowed this way of living to rapidly run its course. This self-sufficient way of thinking always leads to the same place- destruction and lament. Trusting the wrong people, loving the wrong things always leads us there.
We are just like Israel. Christian, we have been called, rescued from slavery (Colossians 1:13) as his people(Romans 9:8), and he has given us a purpose- to shine as lights of truth, love, and hope in the darkness (Matthew 5:13-16, 28:19-20). We are to be a blessing to all nations, bringing the hope of Jesus to those who are hopeless in bondage.
Like Israel, we pour our efforts, hopes, and dreams into our hard work, our reputations, and our desires. We amass wealth and long to enjoy “the good life.” we work by our wisdom, our energy, our strength, our skills, our hard-earned knowledge. Rarely do we invite God’s wisdom, insight, strength, or power into our work. And if we do, it’s often as a last resort, after we have exhausted every other avenue. We have negated God to a safety net for the sake of our reputations.
We are, however, merely human, so we fill our waning energy with food. We numb our exhaustion with alcohol, Netflix, and social media. We sell ourselves for a certain lifestyle, the American lifestyle of success, and become slaves to image and perceptions. We seek rest in vacations and flaunt our status with destinations and name brands. We, too, have become prostitutes, looking for the next hit of pleasure to satisfy our weary souls.
Is it any wonder that we are burned out at the frontlines of patient care when we have wandered away from God and have been trying to pacify the ache for him with all that will enslave and consume us?
“Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 LEB
Jesus calls us to a better way. We have the example of Israel to she us where wandering takes us. Come to Jesus. Take your burdens, hurts, and sorrows to him. He can handle them. He will be gentle with your heart and will surprise you by breathing life back into your dry bones.
Written by Sara Danielle Hill
Sara is a nurse, writer and founder of Undercurrents Ministries. For more more information about Sara Hill and her writing, head over to saradaniellehill.com